Friday, March 13, 2009


Well...Christy is right. Karma is real. I pointed out her ginormous herpes simplex outbreak on her lower lip last week. Now the Universe is biting me in the ass--this evening I noticed a second head growing out of my neck. It's like I have a conjoined twin who is a very late bloomer. I got a straight pin and was going to do a little surgery, but I'm afraid I'll puncture my jugular vein and get a Darwin Award. I still might do that tomorrow, but just in case I accidentally kill myself, I'm going to write a suicide note blaming people I don't like so their lives will be marred by eternal guilt and self-loathing.

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